the fine line

It doesn’t make sense to like someone this quickly. She’s fascinating (maybe because she is new). She’s unbelievably kind (especially when compared to my past). She’s amazingly real and honest (which is refreshing). It’s only been six days since I met this girl.

I really may just be projecting some unresolved feelings onto her. I may be redirecting the pervading sense of loneliness into a gravitational pull towards her and her novelty. I may be just being emotionally reckless with her and my heart at the moment.

It’s only been six days, but I’ve been daydreaming for more. I want to meet her in person. I want to hang out with her. I want to listen to her sing and play the guitar live. I want to taste her cooking. I want to drive her around and just listen to her tell me all about her. It’s like I’ve met someone who seems to be a perfect placeholder in the empty space in my life that once held my ex-girlfriend.

That isn’t right.

I have to calm the fuck down. I don’t even know if she sees me as romantic potential or a friendly stranger. First things first, we just have to nurture the friendship. Talk more, get to know each other more, see if we really do get along.

But a strange part of me is already dreaming — probably the hopeless romantic in me that my ex-girlfriend apparently didn’t manage to kill after all.

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unknown and exciting

I’m starting to remember how exciting new people are. Not that I’m willing to meet a whole group in bulk, but individual people themselves can be fascinating. Just learning their likes and dislikes, the kind of music they listen to, even if they just prefer cats or dogs — all those questions open up a whole nebula of characteristics that make them who they are. It’s so interesting.

I guess the only drawback I worry about is that, no matter how magical a person seems in the beginning, are we doomed to eventually see them through mundane glasses? Or is there some magical connection out there that can prevent that from happening?